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    TOO BAD! Career Women Narrate How Husbands Sleep With Their Housemaids

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    TOO BAD! Career Women Narrate How Husbands Sleep With Their Housemaids

    Post by Admin on Sat Mar 12, 2016 1:20 pm

    Nothing irks a busy hardworking wife
    more than to think that while she is
    busy making a living to carry her own
    share of the family’s burden, her
    husband is busy romping in a
    steaming session with the maid.
    But despite how this may look like a
    story line from a Nollywood movie,
    more often than not, in real life,
    the issue pushes many marriages to
    the edge of the precipice.
    Saturday Punch spoke with a
    number of individuals who offered
    insights into this issue, highlighting
    the fact that the scenario plays out
    more in the homes of career
    women.
    One of such women, Mrs.
    Adedolapo, a mother of two, told
    our correspondent that she became
    certain that her husband was
    sleeping with her help when the
    very respectful 22-year-old
    housemaid she brought into her
    home in February 2015 started to
    “look at me from the end of her
    nose.”
    She said, “The main reason I told
    the girl to come work for me in the
    first place was because she was
    very respectful. I met her when I
    went for an outreach in Yenagoa
    and brought her to Lagos.
    “She did everything perfectly; she
    was very nice and treated my
    children well. But after six months,
    I noticed that if I walked in and she
    greeted me by kneeling, she would
    mouth a welcome to my husband
    with her back turned. I also
    realised that this did not seem to
    bother my husband.
    “Later I realised that her attitude
    toward me also changed. All the
    respect went out of the window.
    Anytime she did something wrong
    and I got angry, she looked at me as
    if I was a mere chicken. I also
    noticed that my husband no longer
    spoke to her in my presence. If I
    told her to do something and I
    scolded her for doing it wrongly,
    rather than my husband to add his
    voice, he would look away.
    “I noticed that she no longer
    respected or feared my husband
    anymore. I became really sure
    something was going on between
    both of them when I noticed she
    cooked when we had left the house
    one day. I got home that evening
    and asked why she cooked again.
    “She said oga (my husband) came
    home in the afternoon and was
    hungry and she had to cook for
    him. My husband had never been
    in the habit of coming home from
    work to eat in the afternoon. I sent
    her packing in August last year.”
    Mrs. Adedolapo, who works in a
    travel agency, said she did not
    confront her husband and neither
    did she give him any explanation
    as to why she sent the housemaid
    packing soon after.
    “The surprising thing is that he
    never asked me why I sent the lady
    away,” she said.
    The narrative given by Mrs.
    Adedolapo, it turned out, is not
    strange to many other career
    women, who suffer the ignominy of
    unknowingly sharing their marital
    bed with their maids.
    Another version of a similar story
    came from a woman who works
    with a new generation bank in
    Lagos. She told our correspondent
    that she had been married for 10
    years until 2014 when she
    separated from her husband.
    Reason? Her husband was sleeping
    with their housemaid too.
    “We have been on this matter now
    for almost two years. Our families
    have been trying to settle the
    matter. But if I forgive him, it is
    hard to forget. If I could erase what
    he did from my mind, then I would
    forgive him completely,” the
    woman said.
    In the email by which our
    correspondent communicated with
    her, she called herself Mrs.
    AngryNaijaWoman. She said she
    would prefer to be referred to as
    that in this report.
    Mrs. AngryNaijaWoman told our
    correspondent that she first noticed
    the sign of trouble when she
    realised that her housemaid was
    showing symptoms of pregnancy.
    “The girl was 24 at the time. She
    had been with us for three years.
    The first week I started noticing
    some physical changes in her body,
    I jokingly told her that I hoped she
    was not pregnant. She said no. But
    by the third week, I was sure
    something was not right. So, I took
    her for a test and it was confirmed
    that she was pregnant.
    “I was shocked. I took her home
    and sat her down to tell me who
    impregnated her. She first gave the
    name of a younger cousin of my
    husband’s, who was staying with us
    for some time.
    “I informed my husband and we
    summoned his cousin, because he
    had got his own accommodation
    not long before that. All this while,
    I was agonising over how my
    housemaid could be pregnant
    under our noses, my husband too
    expressed surprise.
    “When my husband’s cousin came
    and we told him what the
    housemaid had said, he denied
    flatly that he was responsible for
    the pregnancy. But surprisingly, he
    told me that he had actually slept
    with her a number of times but
    always ensured he wore condom.
    “We kept pestering the lady for
    answers, asking her if any other
    person was involved. I decided to
    calm down and took her inside to
    ask her privately. That was when
    she told me that my husband also
    slept with her. I beat the hell out of
    her but she kept repeating that she
    was telling the truth.
    “I confronted my husband and he
    too pounced on the lady and
    started beating her for lying
    against him. Yet, she maintained
    her stand. I threatened my
    husband that we would let the lady
    give birth and do a DNA test on her
    child. But my friend told me that if
    I did that, it would be like shooting
    myself in the foot. I personally took
    the lady for an abortion and sent
    her packing afterwards.”
    Mrs.AngryNaijaWoman told our
    correspondent that the marriage
    has been strained ever since.
    She said even though her husband
    continued to deny the accusation,
    she knew in her heart that the
    housemaid was telling the truth.
    Asked why she took the maid for an
    abortion, she said she did not want
    to wait to find out the father of the
    child between her husband and his
    cousin.
    “It was clear they were both
    sleeping with the maid without the
    other knowing,” she said.
    As harsh as it may sound, Mrs.
    AngryNaijaWoman’s case is one
    that has become all too common.
    In November 2015, a middle-aged
    woman, Kabirat Jimoh, approached
    the Oshodi Customary Court in
    Lagos over her husband’s cavorting
    with their housemaid. But the
    husband allegedly took the affair a
    notch higher. Kabirat was in tears
    as she told the court that her
    husband, Sefiu, had to abandon his
    matrimonial home altogether and
    moved in with the housemaid in an
    apartment he rented for the
    teenager.
    Kabirat said he allegedly
    abandoned her and their three
    children to live in a one-room
    apartment.
    She told the court that they had
    been married for 17 years. She said
    she had travelled briefly when her
    husband started sleeping with the
    girl. According to her, she only
    knew something was going on
    between the two of them when the
    girl became insolent.
    “Whenever I asked her to do a
    chore, she would look me in the eye
    and tell me that she was tired.
    Whenever I threatened to take her
    back to our village, my husband
    would threaten to deal with me,”
    she said.

      Current date/time is Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:46 am